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STAFF
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 Name: Linda
Hometown: Little Town in Indiana
Past bartending jobs: The Lakeside Hotel
My Favorite bar: The Grand of Course
First alcohol drink I ever drank: Malt Beer when I was 14
The drink I like to make most: Car Bombs or Long Island Ice Tea
The drink I like to make the least: Blended Ones
As a bartender my best friend is: Is the person releaving me!
As a bartender my worst enemy is: Being alone in the bar
My favorite drink: Shot of Tequila
My favorite Shot: Tequila
If I wasn't a bartender, I'd be: A Shrink. I already have lots of experience.
Strangest Job I ever had: Chicken de-beaker when I was 16
What do I say at last call?
Drink up. You don't have to go home but you can't stay here!
Two of my favorite bar jokes:
1) A drunk walks into a bar and says to the bartender, "Drinks for all on me. That is including you, bartender." The bartender follows the man's order and says, "That will be $42.50 please." The drunk says he has no money, and the bartender slaps him around and throws him out. The next night, the same drunk comes in and orders a drink for everyone in the bar including the bartender. Again, the bartender follows the drunk's instructions and the drunk says he has no money. So the bartender slaps him around and throws him out. On the third night he comes in, the drunk orders drinks for everyone except the bartender. The bartender says, "What, no drink for me?" "Oh, no. You get violent when you drink."
2) A guy walks into a bar and orders 6 shooters. The bartender says, "Looks like you are having a bad day." The guy says, "Am I ever! To start, I woke up late for work. On my way to work I got in an accident. When I got to work I was four hours late, so the boss fired me. Then to top everything off I came home to my wife screwing my best friend." The bartender says, "What did you say to your wife?" The guy says, "I told her to get out, and I never want to see her again." The bartender says, "What did you say to your best friend?" BAD DOG!"
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Name: Fabulous Nicole
Hometown: Hawaii
Past bartending jobs: The Grand
My Favorite bar: The Grand of Course
First alcohol drink I ever drank: Tequila
The drink I like to make most: Strawberry Lemonade
The drink I like to make the least: Chocolate Cake
As a bartender my best friend is: Tequila!!!!!
As a bartender my worst enemy is: Repeats on the Juke Box
My favorite drink: Strawberry Lemonade
My favorite Shot: Tequila Rose
If I wasn't a bartender, I'd be: A Trust Fund Baby!!!
Dumbest thing that ever happened on my shift: BJ's in the Parking Lot
The dumbest thing I ever did bartending: You Tell Me =)
Two of my favorite bar jokes:
1) A man walks into a bar. He sees a good looking, smartly dressed woman perched on a bar stool. He walks up behind her and says: "Hi there good looking, how's it going?" She turns around, faces him, looks him straight in the eye and says: "Listen, I'll screw anybody, anytime, anywhere, your place, my place, it doesn't matter. I've been doing it ever since I got out of college. I just flat out love it." He says: "No kidding?, I'm a lawyer too! What firm are you with?"
2) A man enters into a bar, and the waiter comes and asks him "What do you want to drink sir?" The customer points out to a guy laying on the floor and replies "Whatever that guy was drinking."
What do I say at last call?
Last Call !! Johnny are you buying me a drink?
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Name: Kimmie
Hometown: San Diego
Past bartending jobs: The Grand
My Favorite bar: The Grand of Course
First alcohol drink I ever drank: Crown Royal
The drink I like to make most: Car Bombs and Mind Erasers
The drink I like to make the least: Lemon Drops
As a bartender my best friend is: Billy, Kenny and Big Ass Tippers
As a bartender my worst enemy is: People who I can't make happy
My favorite drink: Car Bomb
My favorite Shot: Chilled Patron Silver
If I wasn't a bartender, I'd be: A Fashion Designer
Dumbest thing that ever happened on my shift: I don't know
The dumbest thing I ever did bartending: Ahhh?
Two of my favorite bar jokes:
1) A drunk gets up from the bar and heads for the bathroom. A few minutes later, a loud, blood curdling scream is heard from the bathroom. A few minutes after that, another loud scream reverberates through the bar. The bartender goes into the bathroom to investigate why the drunk is screaming. "What's all the screaming about in there? You're scaring the customers!" "I'm just sitting here on the toilet and every time I try to flush, something comes up and squeezes the hell out of my testicles."
With that, the bartender opens the door, looks in and says..."You idiot! You're sitting on the mop bucket!"
2) A large, powerfully-built guy meets a woman at a bar. After a number of drinks, they agree to go back to his place. As they are making out in the bedroom, he stands up and starts to undress. After he takes his shirt off, he flexes his muscular arms and says, "See that, baby? That's 1000 pounds of dynamite!" She begins to drool.
The man drops his pants, strikes a bodybuilder's pose, and says, referring to his bulging thighs, "See those, baby? That's 1000 pounds of dynamite!" She is aching for action at this point. Finally, he drops his underpants, and after a quick glance, she grabs her purse and runs screaming to the front door. He catches her before she is able to leave and asks, "Why are you in such a hurry to go?" She replies, "With 2000 pounds of dynamite and such a short fuse, I was afraid you were about to blow!"
What do I say at last call? No last call for me. I only work days.
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Name: Sister
Hometown: The Bronx, New York
Past bartending jobs: The Grand
My Favorite bar: The Grand of Course
First alcohol drink I ever drank: Mad Dog Wine (age 14)
The drink I like to make most: Strawberry Lemonade
The drink I like to make the least: Lemon Drop (on a busy shift)
As a bartender my best friend is: A Great Bar back
As a bartender my worst enemy is: No customers
My favorite drink: Flavored Vodka on the rocks
My favorite Shot: Strawberry lemonade no doubt
If I wasn't a bartender, I'd be: A child advocate / or a stage dancer / or maybe even a professional card player.
Dumbest thing that ever happened on my shift:
The year was 2008. Two young males come in. I ask for their ID’s. They both hand me their driver's license. One reads: age 21 in the year 2008 (that's cool, he passes)The other hands me his driver's license and it reads: age 21 in the year 2011. ARE YOU KIDDING ME!!!! I told him he should have said he didn't have one. What a freaking idiot!!!
The dumbest thing I ever did bartending:
The first Friday night of bartending, I didn't know how to make a lot of the popular shots that were being ordered. So whenever the waitress came up to place an order, I would pour a little of the shot for her to taste and let me know if it was made right. Well I didn't think about what I was doing to her and the poor thing was trashed by 10:30pm. Needless to say, I gave her all my tips and got her a ride home.
Two of my favorite bar jokes:
1) A businessman enters a tavern, sits down at the bar, and orders a double martini on the rocks. After he finishes the drink, he peeks inside his shirt pocket and then orders the bartender to prepare another double martini. After he finishes it, he again peeks inside his shirt pocket and orders the bartender to bring another double martini. The bartender says, "Look, buddy, I'll bring ya' martinis all night long - but you gotta tell me why you look inside your shirt pocket before you order a refill." The customer replies, "I'm peeking at a photo of my wife. When she starts to look good, I know it's time to go home."
2) This bartender is in a bar, when this really hot chick walks up and says in a sexy seductive voice, "May I please speak to your manager?" He says, "Not right now, is there anything I can help you with?" She replies, "I don't know if you’re the man to talk to...its kind of personal..." Thinking he might get lucky, he says, "I'm pretty sure I can handle your problem, miss." She then looks at him with a smile, and puts two of her fingers in his mouth...and he begins sucking them, thinking "I'm in!!!" She says, "Can you give the manager something for me?" The bartender nods...yes. "Tell him there's no toilet paper in the ladies restroom."
What do I say at last call?
Shots only!! Drink um up!!!! And don't make a left turn out of the parking lot.... Cause it's illegal!!!!
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Name: Danny
Bust: 24
Waist: 54
Hips: 14
Height: 5'11
Weight: FAT
Birthdate: 04/20/47- Yes I am the oldest bartender here, SO WHAT!!!!!
Birthplace: In a hospital
Mixolgist Hours: 1 day a week (Remember I'm Old) 6AM - 2PM Sundays only (Unless the girls are OTR and I have to fill in for them). One other thing, YES people drink at 6AM. Why?
There are two reasons.
1. Because they can 2. It's 12 O'clock somewhere!!
Turn-ons: Tities and BEER, an occasional shot of JACK., A sense of humor, more tities, people that like to have FUN!!!, more beer!!! and so on.
Turn-offs: Liars and cheaters, dumbshit questions. For example: A person walks into the bar and asks "What do you have? ARE YOU KIDDING ME? or how about this one!!! What kind of beer do you have on draft? After you spend 2 minutes tilling them, they order a F__ING SCREWDRIVER!!!! Duh!!!
Things that are funny to me: Names of drinks, think about it, who are these people that name drinks?? Example: RED HEADED SLUT. WHY in the world would you want to drink that??? Wouldn't you want to do you know WHAT??? We will just leave it at that.
Things I know: I make the best BLOODY MARY IN EL CAJON. If you don't believe me come in and try one. IF YOU DON'T LIKE IT I'LL BUY IT, but don't wait until it's all gone to tell me!!!! I like to have fun, I like music, I like football, lastly, When you come into the Grand.... You will have a great time.
Ambitions: Go to Food 4 Less, steal a grocery cart, have it Gold Plated, pan handle down El Cajon Blvd. to get enough money to go into the Grand, have a Beer and a Shot of JACK, and see some TiTies (Hopefully it will be a female bartender) Not Jackie or Sister!!!!! (lol)
Two of my favorite bar jokes:
1) Signs that you are too drunk would be... You lose arguments with inanimate objects. You have to hold onto the lawn to keep from falling off the earth. Job interfering with your drinking. Your doctor finds traces of blood in your alcohol stream. Career won't progress beyond Senator of Massachusetts. The back of your head keeps getting hit by the toilet seat. Sincerely believe alcohol to be the elusive 5th food group. 24 hours in a day, 24 beers in a case - coincidence?? - I think not! Two hands and just one mouth... - now THAT'S a drinking problem! You can focus better with one eye closed. The parking lot seems to have moved while you were in the bar. Your twin sons are named Barley and Hops. Hey, 5 beers has just as many calories as a burger, screw dinner! Mosquitoes catch a buzz after attacking you/ At AA meetings you begin: "Hi, my name is... uh..." Your idea of cutting back is less salt. You wake up in the bedroom, your underwear is in the bathroom, you fell asleep clothed. - hmmm. The whole bar says 'Hi' when you come in...
2) Due to increasing products liability litigation, beer manufacturers have accepted the FDA's suggestion that the following warning labels be placed immediately on all beer containers: WARNING: Consumption of alcohol may make you think you are whispering when you are not. Consumption of alcohol is a major factor in dancing like an asshole. Consumption of alcohol may cause you to tell the same boring story over and over again until your friends want to SMASH YOUR HEAD IN. Consumption of alcohol may cause you to thay shings like thish. Consumption of alcohol may lead you to believe that ex-lovers are really dying for you to telephone them at four in the morning. Consumption of alcohol may leave you wondering what the hell happened to your pants. Consumption of alcohol may make you think you can logically converse with other members of the opposite sex without spitting. Consumption of alcohol may make you think you have mystical Kung Fu powers. Consumption of alcohol may cause you to roll over in the morning and see something really scary (whose species and or name you can't remember). Consumption of alcohol is the leading cause of inexplicable rug burns on the forehead. Consumption of alcohol may create the illusion that you are tougher, smarter and more handsome than some really, really big guy named FRANZ. Consumption of alcohol may lead you to believe you are invisible. Consumption of alcohol may lead you to think people are laughing WITH you. Consumption of alcohol may cause an influx in the time-space continuum, whereby small (and sometimes large) gaps of time may seem to literally disappear. Consumption of alcohol may actually CAUSE pregnancy.
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Name: Nicki
Hometown: Lakeside, CA
Past bartending jobs: Top of the Hill, Tennessee; The Flinn, El Cajon Grand
My Favorite bar: the tailgate of a pick-up
First alcohol drink I ever drank: Brandy-straight (didn't know I wsan't supposed to swallow it for a toothache)
The drink I like to make most: Long Islands and AMF's
The drink I like to make the least: bloody mary, martini
As a bartender my best friend is: A Great Bar back
As a bartender my worst enemy is: No customers
My favorite drink: Kentucky Bourbon on the rocks
My favorite Shot: Don Julio Anejo
If I wasn't a bartender, I'd be: really bored behind a desk
Dumbest thing that ever happened on my shift:
people puking
The dumbest thing I ever did bartending:
Pour the wrong beer, or make a shot wrong
Two of my favorite bar jokes:
You come tell me your favorite bar jokes!!!!
What do I say at last call?
Close out your cards and finish your drinks. Don't make me get mean.
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Schedule: Friday and Saturday nights from 9:00p.m.-2:30a.m.. At times I work as bar back (bar bitch as I call it) and security on other nights.
Height: 6ft
Weight: Heck I don’t know, like I want to know how fat I am (let’s put it this way, I may be considered cuddly).
Measurements: Is this really necessary?
Drinks I like to make: Long Island Ice Tea, Adios Mother F*cker, and shots. I’m always looking for new ideas for shots.
What I like to drink most when I go out: Jack & Coke, Bud Light, and just about any shot.
My signature drink: A "Quick F*ck" and "Curts’ Southern Hospitality"
What I like: Fun honest people. Good music (all kinds). Body modification (piercing & tattoos).
What I dislike: People that are fake, and people that take advantage of other people. Weak Drinks.
A little more about me: I am a fun loving, good looking (at least that’s what all the girls I work with tell me). I
spent some time in
the U.S. Navy (oh only 20 years or so), during which time I was able to visit a number of foreign countries
(and yes, I was a good boy while I was there). My sons are currently the most important thing in my life.
Now that you know a little about me, come in and visit me. It would be a pleasure meeting you and servicing your needs (I’m talking about your drinks, get your mind out of the gutter would you). And, if you want, I may just give you the best "Quick F*ck" of your life! |
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